it's been a good 5+ years, but i'm taking the plunge and moving forward..
http://tweezzy.tumblr.com/
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
celebrity power couple.
It's been a bad week for celebrity couples. Call me jaded, or a love cynic, but none of it really surprises me. Divorce rates are pretty daunting these days and it's got me wondering if love really does last forever.
That said, I put all my faith in love on these two celebrity couples. I LOVE them together and/or their philosophies on making a relationship last. Now, if they don't make it, I'm definitely going to be swearing off marriage.
"If you don't have a purpose for your relationship, if you don't have a place that you're going, something that you want to accomplish, something that you want to do, you can really get lost in the murk of the journey. There has to be a vision. Like, why are we together?"
"If divorce is an option, you will get divorced."
That said, I put all my faith in love on these two celebrity couples. I LOVE them together and/or their philosophies on making a relationship last. Now, if they don't make it, I'm definitely going to be swearing off marriage.
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith
"If divorce is an option, you will get divorced."
Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow
Chris Martin writing "Fix You" for Gwyneth as she was coping with the death of her father completely won me over.
"She came home from the hospital covered & drenched in tears; he started crying & asked her, "What can I do for you? Tell me how I can help.." & she looked up at him & said "Just hold me.. 'cause you're the only thing that can fix me right now."
And that was that - he wrote the song the next day."
By far one of the most powerful and sweetest songs of all time. If the lyrics to that song isn't love, I don't know what is!!
"She came home from the hospital covered & drenched in tears; he started crying & asked her, "What can I do for you? Tell me how I can help.." & she looked up at him & said "Just hold me.. 'cause you're the only thing that can fix me right now."
And that was that - he wrote the song the next day."
By far one of the most powerful and sweetest songs of all time. If the lyrics to that song isn't love, I don't know what is!!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Love and Loss
It's been 15 months since my mother was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer - 9 months since the doctor stated that her cancer was in remission only for her to be diagnosed weeks later with leptomeningeal carcinomatosis, cancer of the lining of the brain and spinal cord. I've been replaying the past 15 months in my head - going home from finals in Florida and being picked up from the airport by my sister, having her tell me that mom had breast cancer. My head was spinning and I couldn't make sense of anything. From that moment on, my world has completely changed.
I remember going with her to her treatments and thinking that everything was going to be alright. Going back to Florida and calling her every couple days and getting the news that the doctors had declared her cancer in remission. I remember that moment so clearly... I was sitting at Starbucks, studying for a test, tears in my eyes when my dad told me she was cancer free. I remember when she was admitted into the hospital again after months of being weak and unable to walk - diagnosed shortly thereafter with LMC. I went home from the hospital that night and spent hours on the web researching the disease. After a couple hours, I was hysterically crying.. sobbing uncontrollably... every site I came to said the same thing... no survivors - average life span of about 8 months. I think that was the worst moment of my life. I made the decision that night to take a leave of absence from school. How could I possibly go back to school knowing that time was running out, and I only had a handful of months left to share with my mom? I never told my mom what I read, but my father, siblings and I knew the prognosis of this awful disease. We went into this knowing we were fighting a battle that we would lose, but we HAD to fight it.
It's been 12 days since my mom has passed away and it's been completely surreal. I can't describe the feeling. It hasn't completly hit me that my mom isn't here anymore... how can it be? She's ALWAYS been with me. Her clothes still lines her closet, her purse still in the same place that she's kept it, her flowers still blooming in the garden. 25 years that I've had this woman to come to, she can't just not be there. It's such a difficult concept to grasp. To quote a famous song, "I haven't changed, but I'll never be the same."
I'll leave off with the eulogy that my siblings and I wrote that was read at her funeral.
On behalf of my family and myself, I would like to express my deepest thanks to the church and our family and friends who have showered us with love and support this week. Your condolences and presence during this difficult time means so much to us and we are truly humbled and touched.
One thing mom was, was a truly loving wife and mother - a job that she put her heart and soul into. Actually it was something she didn't treat as a job, but saw as a privlege. The first thing she thought about when she woke up was meeting someone else's needs, not her own. The past 15 months was the most difficult and trying times of my mother's life, but it was within this period that I truly realized the love and devotion that mom had towards her family. When mom was first admitted into the hospital in December of last year - she was frail and weak, unable to walk and needing assistance to be fed. As my father and siblings gathered in the hospital to take care of her, she completly ignored the fact that she was sick and made sure that my family was eating well and taking care of themselves. There were times when she would order her hospital food, only to put it to the side to save for one of us to eat. She would often comment to my father how she wished she would get better, not for her own sake, but because she wanted to be able to cook again for her husband and children. Mom's greatest joy was to take care and nurture her family and maybe taking care of her plants and fishes in the pond in her garden.
Mom was a simple woman. She was always by my father's side and they did everything together. She was his other half. In his words, she was the positive and he was the negative that was needed to power a light bulb. In the last weeks of her life, she told my father that all she wanted was to live with him and be his best friend forever. Her sweet innocence is one of the things I think most of us will always remember about her. Whether she was healthy or sick, happy or upset, she always had a big and bright smile on her face.
Mom, we love you and miss you so much. It's so hard to imagine living life without you by our side - without you there to tell us what to wear - without you there to see Thuy graduate, to see the day that we get married, to be able to hold your grandchildren, to cry with us when we are sad, and laugh with us when we are happy. I can only hope to be as good of a mother as you and raise children that will be the same. Words can't express my gratitude for you, but I can thank you by living a life that you would be proud of.
I remember going with her to her treatments and thinking that everything was going to be alright. Going back to Florida and calling her every couple days and getting the news that the doctors had declared her cancer in remission. I remember that moment so clearly... I was sitting at Starbucks, studying for a test, tears in my eyes when my dad told me she was cancer free. I remember when she was admitted into the hospital again after months of being weak and unable to walk - diagnosed shortly thereafter with LMC. I went home from the hospital that night and spent hours on the web researching the disease. After a couple hours, I was hysterically crying.. sobbing uncontrollably... every site I came to said the same thing... no survivors - average life span of about 8 months. I think that was the worst moment of my life. I made the decision that night to take a leave of absence from school. How could I possibly go back to school knowing that time was running out, and I only had a handful of months left to share with my mom? I never told my mom what I read, but my father, siblings and I knew the prognosis of this awful disease. We went into this knowing we were fighting a battle that we would lose, but we HAD to fight it.
It's been 12 days since my mom has passed away and it's been completely surreal. I can't describe the feeling. It hasn't completly hit me that my mom isn't here anymore... how can it be? She's ALWAYS been with me. Her clothes still lines her closet, her purse still in the same place that she's kept it, her flowers still blooming in the garden. 25 years that I've had this woman to come to, she can't just not be there. It's such a difficult concept to grasp. To quote a famous song, "I haven't changed, but I'll never be the same."
I'll leave off with the eulogy that my siblings and I wrote that was read at her funeral.
On behalf of my family and myself, I would like to express my deepest thanks to the church and our family and friends who have showered us with love and support this week. Your condolences and presence during this difficult time means so much to us and we are truly humbled and touched.
One thing mom was, was a truly loving wife and mother - a job that she put her heart and soul into. Actually it was something she didn't treat as a job, but saw as a privlege. The first thing she thought about when she woke up was meeting someone else's needs, not her own. The past 15 months was the most difficult and trying times of my mother's life, but it was within this period that I truly realized the love and devotion that mom had towards her family. When mom was first admitted into the hospital in December of last year - she was frail and weak, unable to walk and needing assistance to be fed. As my father and siblings gathered in the hospital to take care of her, she completly ignored the fact that she was sick and made sure that my family was eating well and taking care of themselves. There were times when she would order her hospital food, only to put it to the side to save for one of us to eat. She would often comment to my father how she wished she would get better, not for her own sake, but because she wanted to be able to cook again for her husband and children. Mom's greatest joy was to take care and nurture her family and maybe taking care of her plants and fishes in the pond in her garden.
Mom was a simple woman. She was always by my father's side and they did everything together. She was his other half. In his words, she was the positive and he was the negative that was needed to power a light bulb. In the last weeks of her life, she told my father that all she wanted was to live with him and be his best friend forever. Her sweet innocence is one of the things I think most of us will always remember about her. Whether she was healthy or sick, happy or upset, she always had a big and bright smile on her face.
Mom, we love you and miss you so much. It's so hard to imagine living life without you by our side - without you there to tell us what to wear - without you there to see Thuy graduate, to see the day that we get married, to be able to hold your grandchildren, to cry with us when we are sad, and laugh with us when we are happy. I can only hope to be as good of a mother as you and raise children that will be the same. Words can't express my gratitude for you, but I can thank you by living a life that you would be proud of.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Monday, May 21, 2007
eat.pray.love
i am currently reading "eat, pray, love" and although i'm only 50 pages into it... i'm already so hooked. very rare will i find a book that keeps my interest after the first few pages but i can already relate to the author in so many ways. i recommend this book to anybody who is going through a rut in life and looking for a book that is not only spiritual but fun and insightful. lucky for me, the book is being made into a movie starring julia roberts and is set to be released next year. yay.
and with that, everyone keeps asking me if i'm bored at home. the answer is, no. i'm doing a good job of occupying myself with things that i don't really have time for as a student. getting a good 10 hours of sleep a night, wii-ing, reading, watching my shows, catching up on movies, and most importantly, taking care of my parents. after going out these past two weekends, i'm ready to call it quits. the excitement has fizzled down and i seriously don't know how people can go out so much and not be bored with it. same ol scene and alot of money flowing out. its not for me and i really just prefer to lay back in the bath tub with some kenny g playing. okay, just kidding about that... but you know what i mean. either way, taking a break from the dallas night life for awhile.
and with that, everyone keeps asking me if i'm bored at home. the answer is, no. i'm doing a good job of occupying myself with things that i don't really have time for as a student. getting a good 10 hours of sleep a night, wii-ing, reading, watching my shows, catching up on movies, and most importantly, taking care of my parents. after going out these past two weekends, i'm ready to call it quits. the excitement has fizzled down and i seriously don't know how people can go out so much and not be bored with it. same ol scene and alot of money flowing out. its not for me and i really just prefer to lay back in the bath tub with some kenny g playing. okay, just kidding about that... but you know what i mean. either way, taking a break from the dallas night life for awhile.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
new phase.
my initial reaction was obvious. complete shock, despair, and utter panic. i couldn't function properly. i was crying every 5 minutes and infecting everyone with my tears - making my mom, dad, and aunt cry. i couldn't help it. nothing can prepare someone for that type of news... my world came plummeting down.
as the days are going by, though, i realize that i've got to change my attitude. no doubt, i am still so scared beyond belief and i wake up every morning hoping that this has all been a nightmare, i'm slowly coming to terms with this. somebody told me the other day, "cancer is not the end of the world, thuy"... and i'm hanging on to that. i've got to realize that no matter how SCARED i am... this isn't about me... it's about my mom.. and i have to be strong. i've always been a little wary about the power of prayer.. and the effectiveness of it... but more than ever is the time that i'm relying on it.
as the days are going by, though, i realize that i've got to change my attitude. no doubt, i am still so scared beyond belief and i wake up every morning hoping that this has all been a nightmare, i'm slowly coming to terms with this. somebody told me the other day, "cancer is not the end of the world, thuy"... and i'm hanging on to that. i've got to realize that no matter how SCARED i am... this isn't about me... it's about my mom.. and i have to be strong. i've always been a little wary about the power of prayer.. and the effectiveness of it... but more than ever is the time that i'm relying on it.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Monday, May 07, 2007
staying positive.
for the past few months, i've been living in my own little world. studying for finals and doing my florida thing. my parents have been here in texas living a nightmare and the more i think about it, the angrier i am at myself. i knew something was wrong when my dad called me several weeks ago to pray for them. i just never pushed him into telling me what was wrong. i knew they didn't want to tell me while i was in finals week, but i feel so selfish for having them go through this. i can only speculate how they found out and how confused they were... going to an oncologist trying to grasp all these medical terms with such a language barrier. i know my mom is so scared and my sister tells me i have to be strong for her, but right now, i'm just so scared for her too. i sat in church yesterday and tried to maintain my composure, but i just broke down. my mom... she's my MOM. my heart and my soul. to see her having to go through this.. through chemo and radiation.... i know she's just so confused. my heart is breaking.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
there isn't much to say
i'll spare you the details of this hell of a week. nobody really cares anyways, right? the only major point to note is that i'm almost done (though inexplicably exhausted) with only one final lingering over me. so, my plans are to head straight to the beach on friday and go back to that awesome restaurant that had 3 for 1 drink specials all day everyday! laying out on the beach while you are drunk is one of THE most relaxing things in the world. i used to wonder how the hell people used to fall asleep on the beach but now i know. anyway, yay for beaches. something that florida has over texas. hopefully i won't get any comments on how pasty i am when i'm back in texas (like i did last time.. i think the exact words were... "girl aren't choo from florida? why you so pasty?")
no more busch gardens (wah) but perhaps a night of partying in miami. perhapsssss.
anyway.. THREE days until texas and some home cooked meals. ahonka ahonka!!
no more busch gardens (wah) but perhaps a night of partying in miami. perhapsssss.
anyway.. THREE days until texas and some home cooked meals. ahonka ahonka!!
Monday, April 30, 2007
growl...
no, thats not me making a angry noise... that's my stomach making an angry noise. yes, i'm hungry.. very hungry. i haven't had much time to grocery shop and the sight of fast food makes me hurl. i'm not starving myself by any means, but i know i haven't been taking good care of myself and i'm already expecting to get a good lecture from my parents when i get home about my weight. is it my fault that the food in the ft. lauderdale area really really sucks? seriously, i can't think of one restaurant here that has blown me away. sad, aint it? anyway, one of the top reasons why i'm looking forward to going home! SOMEBODY FEED THIS HUNGRY GIRL! i want me some PHO! is that too much to ask for?... cause don't get me started on the pho here. i'm not a picky eater.. especially when it comes to pho, but i think somebody actually decided to pop a squat and urinate over my pho because it taste just like what i described it as. yummy, huh? oh... and some hotpot sounds good too... and chinese bbq... and sushi... and a good fat juicy bratwurst... and crawfish... ooooooh mannn.... this is such a tease! blah.
anyway, goooood night. LOONG, LOONG day tomorrow. waking up early (again), final at 1 PM that is potentially worth 100% of my final grade... (yes, that means it can either make me or break me), tuberculosis screening at 5PM, and.. studying the rest of the day away for my next final on tuesday. life is great, aint it?
anyway, goooood night. LOONG, LOONG day tomorrow. waking up early (again), final at 1 PM that is potentially worth 100% of my final grade... (yes, that means it can either make me or break me), tuberculosis screening at 5PM, and.. studying the rest of the day away for my next final on tuesday. life is great, aint it?
Thursday, April 26, 2007
i'm tiredd.
it's been a long day. though i didn't wake up as early as i hoped (do i ever?) i made up for it by studying hardcore for the past 8 hours with my 1 hour grey's anatomy break. my brain is about to shut down for the day and i'm feeling uneasy about tomorrow's final - optics. now optics has always been a class where i do splendidly well on the first test... bomb the second... and make up for it on the final. i don't want to jinx myself because i feel like i still don't know the material well enough and there's still so much more i have to do to prepare for it... so i'm really... REALLY going to wake up early tomorrow and cram and tie up all the loose ends before my 1 PM final. lets hope i pull through. * crossing fingers *
i'm quite proud of myself though. i feel like this is one of the few times this semester that i've really utilized my time and studied the way a good student should. my grades in comparison to last semester have dropped and i blame it on my lack of focus and laziness. remember how i said that people told me this was going to be the easiest semester of optometry school? well, yeah i let it get to my head and now my grades have suffered and it's a little depressing actually. i guess waiting till finals to get your act together isn't really going to help, but at least it'll make my conscious feel a bit better.
anyway, so the week is nearly over. thank goodness! time seemed to move sooo slowly and after this week... 4 more finals and i'm done. woot woot... woot! though... i'm a little resentful that i'm not doing anything majorly exciting for summer. my biggest trip, aside from boston which is actually half for pleasure and half for school, is austin. wow... adventurous am i? yeah, i've talked to alot of my classmates and friends and everyone seems to be going somewhere fun... jamaica, hawaii, japan, etc.etc. it really is going to be the only summer where i actually have a good long break (though 2 months isn't THAT great). next year, i'll be going to the clinic for the first time... the year after.. i'll be doing rotations.. and then after that.. well, shoot, then.. you'll have to start calling me dr. nguyen. haha j/k. anyway.. ok i'm rambling... wish me luck on the finals. i'm rooting for myself. go me!
edit:
so, i'm back from the final... ANDDDDDD... it went pretty well! okay, i didn't make an A, but i came out with a pretty solid B and thats good enough for me. now, i need to do this once again,... and that is.. thank God for helping me guess the right answers. i swear to you all that i'm not kidding when i say that i ended up with alot of questions right just because i somehow managed to guess the right answer.. maybe it's a gift i have, i duno... either way, i'm not going to rely on this gift because it'll probably fade the moment that i think i don't need to study. so, another one down... 4 more to go! okay, i'm exhausted. didn't sleep a wink last night (DAMN ROCKSTAR!) and i actually did force myself to get up early this morning... so it only means one thing... NAP TIME!!
i'm quite proud of myself though. i feel like this is one of the few times this semester that i've really utilized my time and studied the way a good student should. my grades in comparison to last semester have dropped and i blame it on my lack of focus and laziness. remember how i said that people told me this was going to be the easiest semester of optometry school? well, yeah i let it get to my head and now my grades have suffered and it's a little depressing actually. i guess waiting till finals to get your act together isn't really going to help, but at least it'll make my conscious feel a bit better.
anyway, so the week is nearly over. thank goodness! time seemed to move sooo slowly and after this week... 4 more finals and i'm done. woot woot... woot! though... i'm a little resentful that i'm not doing anything majorly exciting for summer. my biggest trip, aside from boston which is actually half for pleasure and half for school, is austin. wow... adventurous am i? yeah, i've talked to alot of my classmates and friends and everyone seems to be going somewhere fun... jamaica, hawaii, japan, etc.etc. it really is going to be the only summer where i actually have a good long break (though 2 months isn't THAT great). next year, i'll be going to the clinic for the first time... the year after.. i'll be doing rotations.. and then after that.. well, shoot, then.. you'll have to start calling me dr. nguyen. haha j/k. anyway.. ok i'm rambling... wish me luck on the finals. i'm rooting for myself. go me!
edit:
so, i'm back from the final... ANDDDDDD... it went pretty well! okay, i didn't make an A, but i came out with a pretty solid B and thats good enough for me. now, i need to do this once again,... and that is.. thank God for helping me guess the right answers. i swear to you all that i'm not kidding when i say that i ended up with alot of questions right just because i somehow managed to guess the right answer.. maybe it's a gift i have, i duno... either way, i'm not going to rely on this gift because it'll probably fade the moment that i think i don't need to study. so, another one down... 4 more to go! okay, i'm exhausted. didn't sleep a wink last night (DAMN ROCKSTAR!) and i actually did force myself to get up early this morning... so it only means one thing... NAP TIME!!
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
taking a couple minutes...
to thank God today. i want to thank him for glancing over my sholder today during my final and helping me correctly GUESS enough answers so that i could pass my ocular anatomy final. seriously. no joke.
so, my first panic attack has come and gone. eh, nothing new, right? it's really pathetic how far i go to freak myself out. when i'm going through a test wondering what the FUCKKK is going on, my mind starts to wander and i start thinking about the what ifss... what if i get kicked out of school? what will my parents do? what will i do? will i be pointed at and laughed? what will living in texas again be like? what.. what.... what?? all these thoughts come scrambling in my mind and it's horrrible! anyway, i guess that paniced feeling that i've been waiting for has finally come. ONE down and now.... 6 MORE to go. my focus is so bad compared to last semester..AHH!! please get me through these coming weeks!
anyway, once may 4th hits, HOPEFULLY, i'll be packing up and leaving back to texas for about two months! two months... without a car. dear lord, how am i going to NOT go insane? ah well, i'll manage. perhaps renting a car isn't such a bad idea. either way, i've made a list of current wii games i'm going to get, books i'm going to read, and cities i am going to hit up. haha! planning a one day trip to tampa the saturday before i go back to texas to go to busch garden (a cool water theme park) and going to boston the end of june. but... lets not get ahead of ourselves... must get through the next two weeks. grrrrr...
so, my first panic attack has come and gone. eh, nothing new, right? it's really pathetic how far i go to freak myself out. when i'm going through a test wondering what the FUCKKK is going on, my mind starts to wander and i start thinking about the what ifss... what if i get kicked out of school? what will my parents do? what will i do? will i be pointed at and laughed? what will living in texas again be like? what.. what.... what?? all these thoughts come scrambling in my mind and it's horrrible! anyway, i guess that paniced feeling that i've been waiting for has finally come. ONE down and now.... 6 MORE to go. my focus is so bad compared to last semester..AHH!! please get me through these coming weeks!
anyway, once may 4th hits, HOPEFULLY, i'll be packing up and leaving back to texas for about two months! two months... without a car. dear lord, how am i going to NOT go insane? ah well, i'll manage. perhaps renting a car isn't such a bad idea. either way, i've made a list of current wii games i'm going to get, books i'm going to read, and cities i am going to hit up. haha! planning a one day trip to tampa the saturday before i go back to texas to go to busch garden (a cool water theme park) and going to boston the end of june. but... lets not get ahead of ourselves... must get through the next two weeks. grrrrr...
Thursday, April 19, 2007
...and so it begins
finals... again.
I could have sworn I JUST finished my finals from last semester, but alas, I'm back here again.
The funny thing is that I'm not really fretting it. I'm so calm and unphased by the whole ordeal that being unpaniced is actually causing me to panic. Does that make sense? It's just that... the sense of panicing and feeling pressured has always driven me to study (effectively, that is) and to simply push myself... but now, I'm just cool as a cucumber and that's got me a bit worried. I need to panic to get through these next two weeks alive, but somehow, it hasn't hit yet. I'm sure it'll come.. and then.. the next two weeks will just be a horrendous blur of belly-aching and anxiety attacks. What fun!
I could have sworn I JUST finished my finals from last semester, but alas, I'm back here again.
The funny thing is that I'm not really fretting it. I'm so calm and unphased by the whole ordeal that being unpaniced is actually causing me to panic. Does that make sense? It's just that... the sense of panicing and feeling pressured has always driven me to study (effectively, that is) and to simply push myself... but now, I'm just cool as a cucumber and that's got me a bit worried. I need to panic to get through these next two weeks alive, but somehow, it hasn't hit yet. I'm sure it'll come.. and then.. the next two weeks will just be a horrendous blur of belly-aching and anxiety attacks. What fun!
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Brutal world
I'll be honest, I didn't think too much about the school shootings until today... until I found out it was an Asian student. Reading article after article, I couldn't help but start to cry thinking not only about all those students/professors who were killed for no apparent reason but also for the shooter himself. It's so sad to think of those students who were going through college, some of them seniors with dreams of the real world ahead, with graduaton only a couple weeks away... only to have it all taken away from them so suddenly. As a student myself, it's so painful to think that how likely something like this could have occured right here.. in a place where you're supposed to feel safe. And the shooter,... I can only speculate what happened, but just to know that he had to do something so brutal to innocent people.. it's unphatomable. School is stressful... life is difficult... it's just a given. I guess it's just extremely important to have a good way to release all the pressures and burdens.. whatever way it is.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Temptation...
After my blog yesterday, I drew out a weekly schedule and planned out my week of studying. Dorky, I know... but I did it last year for finals and it worked very well for me. So, according to my schedule, I should be studying ocular anatomy in 45 minutes for 4 hours. Now, the question is... do I stick to this well planned schedule, or do I take a well-needed nap (couldn't fall asleep last night), or better yet.. do I continue playing my Wii and attempt to reach pro status? Anyway... to be continued! muhaha... the suspense... the SUSPENSE!!!
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Memory lane
I revisted my blog today and went through every single entry I wrote. I relived alot of my past experiences and though some of it was pretty painful to read, it made me realize that I ought to start blogging again. I want to be able to come back here in the future to ensure that I never forget certain things that I was feeling or just to relive certain instances of my life. Really, everyone should keep a journal of some sort... it's very theraputic. Though this journal isn't the most private, it'll do for me. In actuality, I'd rather not write down some of my real private thoughts....
So, to update...
Life after spring break... sucks. Truth be told, I wish spring break never occured. It's just so difficult to go from a week of sun and relaxation back to a week of studying and crap. I should write a letter to the Dean and tell him to cut spring break all together and just let us start summer break earlier (yeah right). Either way, finals are in a week and I'm slowing trying to get back into school study mode. It's insane how quickly this semester flew. It definitely is a good thing, but at the same time, it just means that life is flying by just as quickly and I'm still a lost little creature.
In actuality, I've been going through some sort of rut with life. Negativity has been my forte and maybe it was a good thing I wasn't blogging because I'd seriously be one of those annoying people who is just too damn "emo." But it's true... I've been wallowing in self pity for too long and as much as I want to think positive, I can't find anything to be positive about. I realize the people I most admire are those who are able to be optimistic about every situation regardless of how shitty life is towards them. Really takes some work,...
So... summer break... is something I'm actually not looking forward to. I have a feeling I might go through some sort of unbearable breakdown when I'm in Texas and it's just not going to be good. Why, you ask? Well, it's just this feeling I have coupled with certain other things that have been making me feel down. Regardless, I'm looking forward to hanging out with my parents and family. Anyway, this entry is taking a bad turn isn't it? I better stop while I'm ahead! 3 weeks till I'm officially an OD-2! WOO HOO (that is, if i pass all my classes!)
So, to update...
Life after spring break... sucks. Truth be told, I wish spring break never occured. It's just so difficult to go from a week of sun and relaxation back to a week of studying and crap. I should write a letter to the Dean and tell him to cut spring break all together and just let us start summer break earlier (yeah right). Either way, finals are in a week and I'm slowing trying to get back into school study mode. It's insane how quickly this semester flew. It definitely is a good thing, but at the same time, it just means that life is flying by just as quickly and I'm still a lost little creature.
In actuality, I've been going through some sort of rut with life. Negativity has been my forte and maybe it was a good thing I wasn't blogging because I'd seriously be one of those annoying people who is just too damn "emo." But it's true... I've been wallowing in self pity for too long and as much as I want to think positive, I can't find anything to be positive about. I realize the people I most admire are those who are able to be optimistic about every situation regardless of how shitty life is towards them. Really takes some work,...
So... summer break... is something I'm actually not looking forward to. I have a feeling I might go through some sort of unbearable breakdown when I'm in Texas and it's just not going to be good. Why, you ask? Well, it's just this feeling I have coupled with certain other things that have been making me feel down. Regardless, I'm looking forward to hanging out with my parents and family. Anyway, this entry is taking a bad turn isn't it? I better stop while I'm ahead! 3 weeks till I'm officially an OD-2! WOO HOO (that is, if i pass all my classes!)
Friday, March 23, 2007
i GUESS i'll update.
it's been a good while hasn't it?
well, life has been unbloggable really. tests tests tests. that's all there really is. sometimes people really have to wake me up from this routine of test after test after test for me to realize that our testing schedule really is insane. i often tell my friends back home that i'm studying for two tests on monday and they just give me this sympathetic comment when i'm just thinking that it's another monday morning to me. yeah, i guess you get used to it. doesn't mean that it doesn't suck though.
speaking of which, i have a test tomorrow morning (surprise surprise). i'm not feeling very confident right now, so i've made the strategic decision to get in 4 hours of sleep right now and wake up a bit early to study for 3 hours before the test. i refuse to succumb to good sleep and WILL wake my ass up to study. it's sad really. i happened to come across my class president's blog and read about all her study habits and what not. i always knew that i was a bit of a slacker when it came to my class, but i didn't realize just how much of a slacker i was. she makes tape recordings of her asking questions over the lecture material and listens to it on her car rides. wow. i totally suck. she's probably sleeping peacefully right now while i am sitting here thinking about how i can cram all this material in. whatevvvv..
and just to brag, i just whooped ass on my exam this past monday. class average 78. me... 92 babyyyy. go me. don't worry, i'm just bragging because it's very rare for me to do better than my class. i consider it a stroke of luck and it will never happen again.
ANYWAY, things will be busy for the next couple days. exam on monday, of course (which, of course, i have yet to study for) checkout (remember the eye exam i had to do in front of the professor last semester... gotta do that shit again) on monday, formal on saturday. yes.. you read right, formal. i haven't been to a formal since... sophmore year in high school. didn't go to prom... didn't go to orange and white.. nope, nada. truth is, i didn't really want to go to this thing either. i told my friends i felt that it was too "high school" and i think they got offended. regardless, i took one for the team and am going. what dress will i wear? who knows...? can you tell i'm really excited? ha ha ha.
once monday is over and done with, i'll get some R&R. spring break in a week and where will i be? THE BAHAMAS BAYBEEEEE!!!!
ok. sike. i wish. i'll be in fort lauderdale, florida. haha. exciting i know. people are surprised i'm not going home, and truth is, i don't know why i'm not going home. the majority of my friends are going home and so i'll just be here for the most part (though a friend is coming to visit and if we manage not to strangle each other, it might be fun). regardless, i'm going to take the time to just enjoy myself for awhile. i really want to read hilary clinton's autobiography, hopefully i can hit up the beach a couple times and get a tan (i am too pasty for my own good) and just take the time to enjoy florida. sounds peaceful, doesn't it? oh.. that and i'm getting the Wii shipped to me next week so that'll kill me some major time. WOO HOO! exciting!!
anyway, bed time! i'll be dreaming about kidneys (what my test is over tommorow). wish me luck!
well, life has been unbloggable really. tests tests tests. that's all there really is. sometimes people really have to wake me up from this routine of test after test after test for me to realize that our testing schedule really is insane. i often tell my friends back home that i'm studying for two tests on monday and they just give me this sympathetic comment when i'm just thinking that it's another monday morning to me. yeah, i guess you get used to it. doesn't mean that it doesn't suck though.
speaking of which, i have a test tomorrow morning (surprise surprise). i'm not feeling very confident right now, so i've made the strategic decision to get in 4 hours of sleep right now and wake up a bit early to study for 3 hours before the test. i refuse to succumb to good sleep and WILL wake my ass up to study. it's sad really. i happened to come across my class president's blog and read about all her study habits and what not. i always knew that i was a bit of a slacker when it came to my class, but i didn't realize just how much of a slacker i was. she makes tape recordings of her asking questions over the lecture material and listens to it on her car rides. wow. i totally suck. she's probably sleeping peacefully right now while i am sitting here thinking about how i can cram all this material in. whatevvvv..
and just to brag, i just whooped ass on my exam this past monday. class average 78. me... 92 babyyyy. go me. don't worry, i'm just bragging because it's very rare for me to do better than my class. i consider it a stroke of luck and it will never happen again.
ANYWAY, things will be busy for the next couple days. exam on monday, of course (which, of course, i have yet to study for) checkout (remember the eye exam i had to do in front of the professor last semester... gotta do that shit again) on monday, formal on saturday. yes.. you read right, formal. i haven't been to a formal since... sophmore year in high school. didn't go to prom... didn't go to orange and white.. nope, nada. truth is, i didn't really want to go to this thing either. i told my friends i felt that it was too "high school" and i think they got offended. regardless, i took one for the team and am going. what dress will i wear? who knows...? can you tell i'm really excited? ha ha ha.
once monday is over and done with, i'll get some R&R. spring break in a week and where will i be? THE BAHAMAS BAYBEEEEE!!!!
ok. sike. i wish. i'll be in fort lauderdale, florida. haha. exciting i know. people are surprised i'm not going home, and truth is, i don't know why i'm not going home. the majority of my friends are going home and so i'll just be here for the most part (though a friend is coming to visit and if we manage not to strangle each other, it might be fun). regardless, i'm going to take the time to just enjoy myself for awhile. i really want to read hilary clinton's autobiography, hopefully i can hit up the beach a couple times and get a tan (i am too pasty for my own good) and just take the time to enjoy florida. sounds peaceful, doesn't it? oh.. that and i'm getting the Wii shipped to me next week so that'll kill me some major time. WOO HOO! exciting!!
anyway, bed time! i'll be dreaming about kidneys (what my test is over tommorow). wish me luck!
Friday, February 16, 2007
Bad Idea.
Instead of drinking my regular cup of joe today, I decided to try something new and came across ROCKSTAR energy drink. It advertises that it will "provide incredible energy boost for those who lead active and exhausting lifestyles from athletes to rockstars." Well, obviously, I'm neither one of those... but I am a student with a atrocious cardio exam tomorrow. Either way, the advertisement sure was enticing so I said what the hell!
... BIG MISTAKE.
I sure do feel like a rockstar right now... a rockstar on CRACK that is. Though I do have this weird sense of alertness and energy, my mouth is insanely dry and I'm peeing a fountain every 30 minutes. WTF?! STUPID DRINK! I knew I should have just stuck to my good ol coffee. Besides, I'm ready to call it a night. No more studying for me. Cross fingers that I do okay on this exam. Ugh. School hasn't been nice to me lately. =(
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
weather woes.
this past saturday was a beautiful day. perfect weather.. and i mean PERFECT. not a cloud in the sky, not too hot, not too cold. to make up for it though, God decided to have an endless 3 days of rain. rain rain go away!
i haven't given a substantial update in awhile, i know. life has gotten me preoccupied and i've been keeping myself busy and distracted. it really is true that the one cure for sadness, depression, or whatever is to simply invest yourself into something else, which is exactly what i'm doing.
school. for a lack of better words, i'll just say that i suck. i went through this phase of wanting to just get to the end of the finish line and become an optometrist. grades really weren't my full priority and i just needed to pass. who looks at your gpa when you're an optometrist anyways, right? well, i guess that's all fine and dandy, but my good ol friend who always wants to make me panic started to tell me that he didn't think "just getting by" was good enough. it's true i guess. how am i supposed to pass my licenscing exam if i'm just getting by. as more and more of my classmates are dropping out, i'm starting to realize that the average for our classes are getting higher and higher and i'm slowly down at the bottom of the toteum pole. that, my friends, is unfamilar territory for me, and i do not like it one bit. i'm going to bust my ass and aim a lot higher from now on. if i don't make average, fine, so be it, but like they say "shoot for the stars and even if you'll miss, you'll be in the clouds." gay i know, but the quote fits the situation, doesn't it? now that said, it is pretty hard to make above average when your freaking classmates are nerds and we have an average of 86! i swear, you guys might have thought i was a nerd, but i am a slacker amongst these people. nerd at home. slacker in florida. it's all relative i tell you.
anyway, one thing i realized is that it's good to have seperate friends, meaning friends at school, friends at work, friends at the club, friends you grew up with, etc.etc. i realize that even though i've grown close to my friends at school, there's always that sense of competitiveness and it's starting to drive me crazy. it annoys the shit out of me when someone is SO concerned with my grade, constantly asking me how i did and if i failed/passed or what not. i never once minded telling this certain person my grades until i started to notice her sneaky way of asking all of us our grades ALL the time. school really can bring out the devil in you.
i haven't given a substantial update in awhile, i know. life has gotten me preoccupied and i've been keeping myself busy and distracted. it really is true that the one cure for sadness, depression, or whatever is to simply invest yourself into something else, which is exactly what i'm doing.
school. for a lack of better words, i'll just say that i suck. i went through this phase of wanting to just get to the end of the finish line and become an optometrist. grades really weren't my full priority and i just needed to pass. who looks at your gpa when you're an optometrist anyways, right? well, i guess that's all fine and dandy, but my good ol friend who always wants to make me panic started to tell me that he didn't think "just getting by" was good enough. it's true i guess. how am i supposed to pass my licenscing exam if i'm just getting by. as more and more of my classmates are dropping out, i'm starting to realize that the average for our classes are getting higher and higher and i'm slowly down at the bottom of the toteum pole. that, my friends, is unfamilar territory for me, and i do not like it one bit. i'm going to bust my ass and aim a lot higher from now on. if i don't make average, fine, so be it, but like they say "shoot for the stars and even if you'll miss, you'll be in the clouds." gay i know, but the quote fits the situation, doesn't it? now that said, it is pretty hard to make above average when your freaking classmates are nerds and we have an average of 86! i swear, you guys might have thought i was a nerd, but i am a slacker amongst these people. nerd at home. slacker in florida. it's all relative i tell you.
anyway, one thing i realized is that it's good to have seperate friends, meaning friends at school, friends at work, friends at the club, friends you grew up with, etc.etc. i realize that even though i've grown close to my friends at school, there's always that sense of competitiveness and it's starting to drive me crazy. it annoys the shit out of me when someone is SO concerned with my grade, constantly asking me how i did and if i failed/passed or what not. i never once minded telling this certain person my grades until i started to notice her sneaky way of asking all of us our grades ALL the time. school really can bring out the devil in you.
Monday, February 05, 2007
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Fashion Blunder
Having to wear scrubs everyday, I admit, saves me a lot of time and money. No longer do I have to worry about what to wear nor do I go shopping as often. The downside is that fashion is fun and it's nice to wear clothes and express yourselves once in awhile, am I right? Well, I guess the loophole to that problem is to have some ROCKING shoes, and I must admit, I have some ROCKING shoes that I wear along with my scrubs. I think I get compliments on them everyday. =) Anyway, that's besides the point I'm trying to make. What I'm getting at is that SHOES have been very important to me these days. Admist the sea of scrubs that is prevalent in my college of thousands, the only way to set apart people is through their shoes. Sad, but true. Now, I don't know if any of you guys are familar with these HIDEOUS pair of what I consider to be a poor excuse for shoes, that are known as CROCS, but they are perhaps the most popular pair of shoes here in Florida.
Now, look at these things. They are big and bulky and have holes in them. They are EWWY X2. I gag and vomit when I see people wearing them. Now, the majority of people that wear them are girls, and fine, whatever, so be it... but what I have a problem with is when I start to check out a guy and all of a sudden get distracted by these CROCS. OH GOD, please let these uglies go away. What a great entry, eh?
Now, look at these things. They are big and bulky and have holes in them. They are EWWY X2. I gag and vomit when I see people wearing them. Now, the majority of people that wear them are girls, and fine, whatever, so be it... but what I have a problem with is when I start to check out a guy and all of a sudden get distracted by these CROCS. OH GOD, please let these uglies go away. What a great entry, eh?
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Howdy!
I apologize for the lack of updates. Life is taking a hold of me, and in honesty, I haven't found the urge to "blog". Something I've realized in the past few weeks is that Florida is actually feeling more like home to me. It's crazy, I tell you. The homesickness is slowly subsiding and I actually don't feel so lost here. I remember a couple of my second year friends telling me that it gets much easier with time and I responsed by telling them that I highly doubt that would be the case with me. The truth is, though, that I feel "normal" here now. A big part of it has to do with realizing things when I went back home for Christmas break. Texas will ALWAYS be where my heart is, it's where my biggest support system (my family) and my few friends are... but the truth is, my life, for right now, is in Florida. I have people here who understand what it's like to be a student and who understand what kind of lifestyle I have to have for the time being. Granted, I often reminisce and think of those days when I would drive to and from Austin on the long, stretched highway I-35, and I yearn for it SO BADLY, I also realized that life is moving forward, people are moving forward and it's time for me to move forward as well. I found this quote from a friend's blog, and it sums things up rather nicely...
"as everyone gets older, people go their separate ways...they start pursuing their own dreams and ambitions outside the confines of institutional infrastructure... someone once told me "people come and go in your life. get used to it." this much is true...but i know for a fact that the people who care about you and love you for who you are-will do whatever it takes to stay in your life and stand by you. they will remember you without having to be reminded. hold onto these people cuz they are SO very rare. human nature is self seeking...but its a blessing to find people that seek after your well-being and the well being of others too..."
So, that's my profound thought for the day/week/month/whatever. Take it as you like.
In other news, some interesting tidbits that have been going on with me.
1) I saw a naked guy a couple weeks ago.
Ok, so I'm walking out of my friend's apartment and minding my own business. Her next door neighbor has his mini-blinds closed with the EXCEPTION that one of the blinds got stuck. I hope that makes sense. Anyway, I'm walking and I just happen to glance at the window and see this ass through the peek that the blinds caused. It was quite hilarious I tell you. I wondered what the hell the guy was doing standing there naked, but I guess I'll never know. I assume he was getting ready for a shower, or just had sex. Unfortunately, I only saw the back view... no frontal view... now THAT would have been more exciting. HAH HAH!
2) There is a possible trip to Boston in the summer! Crossing fingers, I want to go SOMEWHERE... ANYWHERE!!
3) There is a possible trip to Vegas in spring break! Slim chance, but hey, anything is possible!
4) "I'm ENGAGED" is the phrase of the past three months. Please guys, calm down.. you're freaking me out!
5) I have a roommate for next year already! It'll be a friend this time so my only conversations with my roommate won't be about bills and what not. Let's hope everything works out great. Time to find a new place because they're ALREADY filling up fast!
6) This is THE FUNNIEST video EVER
That's all! I hope you're all doing well!
"as everyone gets older, people go their separate ways...they start pursuing their own dreams and ambitions outside the confines of institutional infrastructure... someone once told me "people come and go in your life. get used to it." this much is true...but i know for a fact that the people who care about you and love you for who you are-will do whatever it takes to stay in your life and stand by you. they will remember you without having to be reminded. hold onto these people cuz they are SO very rare. human nature is self seeking...but its a blessing to find people that seek after your well-being and the well being of others too..."
So, that's my profound thought for the day/week/month/whatever. Take it as you like.
In other news, some interesting tidbits that have been going on with me.
1) I saw a naked guy a couple weeks ago.
Ok, so I'm walking out of my friend's apartment and minding my own business. Her next door neighbor has his mini-blinds closed with the EXCEPTION that one of the blinds got stuck. I hope that makes sense. Anyway, I'm walking and I just happen to glance at the window and see this ass through the peek that the blinds caused. It was quite hilarious I tell you. I wondered what the hell the guy was doing standing there naked, but I guess I'll never know. I assume he was getting ready for a shower, or just had sex. Unfortunately, I only saw the back view... no frontal view... now THAT would have been more exciting. HAH HAH!
2) There is a possible trip to Boston in the summer! Crossing fingers, I want to go SOMEWHERE... ANYWHERE!!
3) There is a possible trip to Vegas in spring break! Slim chance, but hey, anything is possible!
4) "I'm ENGAGED" is the phrase of the past three months. Please guys, calm down.. you're freaking me out!
5) I have a roommate for next year already! It'll be a friend this time so my only conversations with my roommate won't be about bills and what not. Let's hope everything works out great. Time to find a new place because they're ALREADY filling up fast!
6) This is THE FUNNIEST video EVER
That's all! I hope you're all doing well!
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
mundane.
There hasn't been much in life to blog about these days. Life is uninteresting and school is... well, school. I'm slowly trying to get back into that routine, but it's proven to be quite difficult. Instead, I've been taking naps like no other and watching T.V like a maniac. It'll all end pretty soon though, especially since we were just handed our examination schedule and it's absolutely horrendous. They said it was supposed to be the easiest semester for us, but sadly, they didn't mention that we would be having 23 exams in the span of 3 and a half months. Do the math - that's about 2 exams a week. So sad, so sad. With that in mind, I finally brought myself to start studying today. Yup, I looked over all 3 pages of my notes. Okay, okay, not good enough, I know, but hey, if there's anything I learned last semester it's that it's not how long you study... it's how WELL you study. Studying just to make yourself feel better isn't very effective. Take my advice guys, I'm a pro at this now. Haha.
So, I'm debating whether to go out or not tonight to a place called Blue Martini. Apparently, it's the happening place that I never got a chance to hit up. Everyone is telling me to go since it'll probably be the only opportunity we have in awhile, BUT... I'm so not in the mood. Firstly, because I don't feel like driving (don't get me started on that), and secondly, because I went out over the weekend and am kind of partied out. Don't get me wrong, partying this past weekend was interesting. We hit up downtown Ft. Lauderdale and I have to say, I was definitely missing out. It has the 6th street vibe and the drinks aren't that expensive. (Not to mention, the white boys weren't half bad) Also, who knew you could carry your drinks around the streets! Awesome! Sadly, there were A LOOOOT of older folks there AND also, my group of friends met up with some other people in our class and totally felt outcasted. There was a point in the night when we actually sat in a circle on the floor of one of our classmate's loft apartment and I started to think how vaguely familar this felt during my freshman year in college. Whatever though, we had fun amongst ourselves. Maybe I should go out because who needs them! I don't!! I'll get back to yall on that one...
In other news, did anyone read the Vogue article with Angelina Jolie in it? I read it and couldn't help but think about Jennifer Aniston the whole time. God, Angelina Jolie... it's SO difficult to hate her, she's wise and beautiful.. but reading what she has to say about her and Brad Pitt's relationship would KILL ME. HOMEWRECKER!!!!! I must admit though, they do seem to have a great relationship and work very well with each other...kinda makes me yearn for that feeling.
"He is a great challenge to me. We push each other to be better... He's somebody that I admire based on the way he lives his life."
Sob. Too sweet.
So, I'm debating whether to go out or not tonight to a place called Blue Martini. Apparently, it's the happening place that I never got a chance to hit up. Everyone is telling me to go since it'll probably be the only opportunity we have in awhile, BUT... I'm so not in the mood. Firstly, because I don't feel like driving (don't get me started on that), and secondly, because I went out over the weekend and am kind of partied out. Don't get me wrong, partying this past weekend was interesting. We hit up downtown Ft. Lauderdale and I have to say, I was definitely missing out. It has the 6th street vibe and the drinks aren't that expensive. (Not to mention, the white boys weren't half bad) Also, who knew you could carry your drinks around the streets! Awesome! Sadly, there were A LOOOOT of older folks there AND also, my group of friends met up with some other people in our class and totally felt outcasted. There was a point in the night when we actually sat in a circle on the floor of one of our classmate's loft apartment and I started to think how vaguely familar this felt during my freshman year in college. Whatever though, we had fun amongst ourselves. Maybe I should go out because who needs them! I don't!! I'll get back to yall on that one...
In other news, did anyone read the Vogue article with Angelina Jolie in it? I read it and couldn't help but think about Jennifer Aniston the whole time. God, Angelina Jolie... it's SO difficult to hate her, she's wise and beautiful.. but reading what she has to say about her and Brad Pitt's relationship would KILL ME. HOMEWRECKER!!!!! I must admit though, they do seem to have a great relationship and work very well with each other...kinda makes me yearn for that feeling.
"He is a great challenge to me. We push each other to be better... He's somebody that I admire based on the way he lives his life."
Sob. Too sweet.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
FINALLY!
Over a year of waiting, and it's finally going to happen! I'm going to see WICKED the broadway musical in March! Good lord, it better be awesome because it's been LOOONG overdue. Excited! My first musical.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Brace yourself...
It's going to be a long one.
I've been falling asleep in my class. You remember those people we used to laugh at that fell asleep in church or class and had that weird head jerking problem? Well, that's been me these past couple days. I've never found it so difficult to keep my eyes open and naps have become my best friend. I blame it on New Year's and my damned early flight. I didn't sleep at all that night and knocked out cold once my butt hit the plane seat. Once I got back to my apartment, I tried to take a nap, but for some reason, I couldn't. Sooo.. my sleep schedule was all out of wack, but alas, I think I'm recuoperated and feeling mucho better.
School is... well, school. I haven't been able to get into school mode yet, but the good news is that the upperclassmen told us that this will probably be the easiest semester that we have in optometry school. GREAT NEWS, granted they said EASIEST not EASY, which means alot, but, hey, I'll take it! Maybe some free weekends here and there. *crossing fingers*
2007 is the year of the boar, apparently meaning it's going to be a good year for me. I never really believed that stuff though. Regardless, I'm going to be focusing on making a lot of changes about myself this year, not only mentally... but physically. Yes guys, I'm getting a boob job...... haha! sike! But in all seriousness, I'm going to try to embrace myself and who I am. I realize I'm not a confident person and I'm afraid of putting myself out there to people in fears that I won't be accepted. It's time to take myself out of my comfort zone and just be happy with who I am. Life is too short to worry about other people. As cliche as that sounds, I've truly realized that especially as I'm going through 4 years of optometry school. My prime age is right now, and I need to enjoy it... and I need to be happy with myself before I take the next steps into REAL adulthood. It's going to be tough...I need to take baby steps.
On to other things... so, as I'm sitting in the waiting room getting my oil change the other day I got the chance to watch Gerald Ford's funeral. I'm not much into political news, but as I watched Ford's wife walk through the cathedral I couldn't help but shed a tear for her. To think, having your best friend, soul mate, life long companion of 50+ years taken away from you.. to have to walk through the rest of your life alone, when you've had somebody by your side for half a century.. to find the strength to go through that, God, its rough.
I also watched the leaked video of Saddam Hussein's execution. I know, you people are probably thinking WTF is wrong with me... but I've always had a morbid fascination w/death. Anyway, the video was seriously disturbing. I honestly don't know the extent of what Saddam did that caused him to be executed, but the way he was treated the minutes before he died was horrible. The look that he had on his face in that split second when he realized that the floor underneath him was gone and he was falling to his death was heart wrenching. It was sad and terrible.
I've been falling asleep in my class. You remember those people we used to laugh at that fell asleep in church or class and had that weird head jerking problem? Well, that's been me these past couple days. I've never found it so difficult to keep my eyes open and naps have become my best friend. I blame it on New Year's and my damned early flight. I didn't sleep at all that night and knocked out cold once my butt hit the plane seat. Once I got back to my apartment, I tried to take a nap, but for some reason, I couldn't. Sooo.. my sleep schedule was all out of wack, but alas, I think I'm recuoperated and feeling mucho better.
School is... well, school. I haven't been able to get into school mode yet, but the good news is that the upperclassmen told us that this will probably be the easiest semester that we have in optometry school. GREAT NEWS, granted they said EASIEST not EASY, which means alot, but, hey, I'll take it! Maybe some free weekends here and there. *crossing fingers*
2007 is the year of the boar, apparently meaning it's going to be a good year for me. I never really believed that stuff though. Regardless, I'm going to be focusing on making a lot of changes about myself this year, not only mentally... but physically. Yes guys, I'm getting a boob job...... haha! sike! But in all seriousness, I'm going to try to embrace myself and who I am. I realize I'm not a confident person and I'm afraid of putting myself out there to people in fears that I won't be accepted. It's time to take myself out of my comfort zone and just be happy with who I am. Life is too short to worry about other people. As cliche as that sounds, I've truly realized that especially as I'm going through 4 years of optometry school. My prime age is right now, and I need to enjoy it... and I need to be happy with myself before I take the next steps into REAL adulthood. It's going to be tough...I need to take baby steps.
On to other things... so, as I'm sitting in the waiting room getting my oil change the other day I got the chance to watch Gerald Ford's funeral. I'm not much into political news, but as I watched Ford's wife walk through the cathedral I couldn't help but shed a tear for her. To think, having your best friend, soul mate, life long companion of 50+ years taken away from you.. to have to walk through the rest of your life alone, when you've had somebody by your side for half a century.. to find the strength to go through that, God, its rough.
I also watched the leaked video of Saddam Hussein's execution. I know, you people are probably thinking WTF is wrong with me... but I've always had a morbid fascination w/death. Anyway, the video was seriously disturbing. I honestly don't know the extent of what Saddam did that caused him to be executed, but the way he was treated the minutes before he died was horrible. The look that he had on his face in that split second when he realized that the floor underneath him was gone and he was falling to his death was heart wrenching. It was sad and terrible.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
VS
I'm sitting here watching the Victoria's Secret fashion show for the second time. It baffles me how gorgeous these women are. Seriously, I don't know how a guy could possibly go through that entire show and not get aroused. HAHA! What I'm thinking is how in the world God granted these girls such skinny bodies with great sized breasts? WHY NOT ME?! I really need a boob job. I want me some of thoseee. BEAUTIFUL GIRLS, Seriously. BOOBIFUL. Too bad Adriana Lima talks like an idiot. Typical model. Gorgeous, but a fucking stupid ass.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Home Sweet Home.
It feels as though I never left. Granted, SOOO much has happened in the past four months, I feel as though I can pick up right where things left off here in Texas - going to the clubs and chit chatting with people as though I've been here all along, sitting at the dinner table with my parents, playing with my dog, going shopping,... it's all the same ol' comforting feeling. I LOVE it! Surprisingly, however, a part of me does miss Florida. Not the rude people or the city itself, but the routine I had going on there. Well, I don't MISS it too much because I do cringe every single time I think about the new semester! AHH! Let's not even go there right now...
So I've been savoring every minute of this break.. doing ABSOLUTELY nothing. Not having a car does kind of suck, and you people may think I may be bored off my ass, but I seriously love this feeling... this feeling of nothingness... this feeling of not having a huge amount of stress on your shoulders... it's absolutely refreshing. I've been waking up at noon everyday and laying on the couch watching cable T.V. (Gawd, my parents finally decided to get cable the moment all the kids leave the house!) I've been eating about 90% of the time I'm awake, and I've finally step foot in the mall... boy, how I missed fashion. In the midst of everything, though, I have been doing a looot of thinking about things and some soul searching - which is always good, right? No need for me to get into my profound thoughs but I will say it has been quite liberating!
Oh, and if anyone was wondering how my plane ride went... it sucked. I didn't think being hung over on a plane was going to be THAT bad, but oh geez, did I want to kill myself. I am starting to question whether or not I should drink heavily on New Years Eve. Eh, we'll see.
So I've been savoring every minute of this break.. doing ABSOLUTELY nothing. Not having a car does kind of suck, and you people may think I may be bored off my ass, but I seriously love this feeling... this feeling of nothingness... this feeling of not having a huge amount of stress on your shoulders... it's absolutely refreshing. I've been waking up at noon everyday and laying on the couch watching cable T.V. (Gawd, my parents finally decided to get cable the moment all the kids leave the house!) I've been eating about 90% of the time I'm awake, and I've finally step foot in the mall... boy, how I missed fashion. In the midst of everything, though, I have been doing a looot of thinking about things and some soul searching - which is always good, right? No need for me to get into my profound thoughs but I will say it has been quite liberating!
Oh, and if anyone was wondering how my plane ride went... it sucked. I didn't think being hung over on a plane was going to be THAT bad, but oh geez, did I want to kill myself. I am starting to question whether or not I should drink heavily on New Years Eve. Eh, we'll see.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Wow.
What happened last night? It is 8:40AM, I'm going to be hopping on the plane in a couple hours, and as of right now... I'm still drunk. Awesome.
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